if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
