Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
