K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
