from now on my penis is your penis
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i came on her dog
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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