I wish I only lived at night.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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