if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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