it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
