just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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