She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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