I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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