Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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