return my video game
how can u be prego again
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
