okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
