I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
