Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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