Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
