My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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