There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
