I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So apparently I’m into choking now
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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