That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Randomize
