ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
