She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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