you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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