gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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