how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
