so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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