gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
