I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize