He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My penis needs a shock collar
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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