i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
