How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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