You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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