Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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