I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
