its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
