Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
