I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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