The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
