brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we're making bets on your personal life
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
