i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
