Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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