i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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