textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
