using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
