Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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