i need an iv and a liver transplant
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize