so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
