I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
