Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
