Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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