is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
