did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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