one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
