It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
should my penis look like a turkey
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
