do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I cannot find my penis.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
