I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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