so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize