so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
