Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
