I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
