listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
