She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
