Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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