Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize